Talk Like a Pirate Day – September 19th – Arrr You Ready?

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September 19th is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Have you done your home work? If not here are some resources to get you in the mood:

Pirate Jokes

example:

Have you heard about the new pirate movie?

It?s rated AARRRRGGH!

More Pirate Jokes

example:

Not-so-Jolly Roger

A soldier meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The soldier notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook and an eye patch.

“How did you end up with a peg leg?” he asks.

The pirate replies, “I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.”

“Wow!” says the soldier. “What about your hook?”

“Well,” answers the pirate, “we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand.”

“Incredible. How’d you get the eye patch?”

“A grapefruit squirted in my eye,” the pirate replies.

“You lost your eye to grapefruit juice?”

“Well,” says the pirate, “it was my first day with the new hook.”

Pirate Name Generator

example: you can now call me “Shark Tooth Booker”

Mystery Illness Strikes after Meteorite Hits Peruvian Village

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Right out of the plot to a Sci-Fi movie comes this story from Peru:

Villagers in southern Peru were struck by a mysterious illness after a meteorite made a fiery crash to Earth in their area, regional authorities said Monday.

Around midday Saturday, villagers were startled by an explosion and a fireball that many were convinced was an airplane crashing near their remote village, located in the high Andes department of Puno in the Desaguadero region, near the border with Bolivia.

Residents complained of headaches and vomiting brought on by a “strange odor,” local health department official Jorge Lopez told Peruvian radio RPP.

Seven policemen who went to check on the reports also became ill and had to be given oxygen before being hospitalized, Lopez said.

Granted when this happened on BBC’s new series Torchwood last week a gaseous alien came out of the rock, processed possessed a woman, shagged every man in sight and then turned them to dust when it consumed their energy at sexual climax. The story from Peru did not mention this behavior… yet.

Russia organizes 'sex day' to boost births

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Many countries are experiencing a dramatic drop in births which will lead to a reduction in population. Russia is one of them and the governor of region has a plan:

The governor of Ulyanovsk region in Russia is offering prizes to couples who have babies in exactly nine months – on Russia’s national day on 12 June.

Sergei Morozov wants couples to take the day off work to have sex. If a baby is born on national day, they will receive cars, TVs or other prizes.

read more | digg story

Flexpetz – Shared Dog Ownership

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I guess it should be obvious after people have been experimenting with shared car ownership that someone would think of shared pet ownership, but honestly, this one took e by surprise.

FLEXPETZ is a shared dog ownership concept that provides our members with access to a variety of FLEXPETZ dogs. All FLEXPETZ dogs complete obedience training and some FLEXPETZ dogs are also certified as therapy dogs.

Through the FLEXPETZ shared dog ownership concept, members can spend from just a few hours to a number of days with each of our dogs. FLEXPETZ dogs are available in varied breed sizes to ensure compatibility with our member’s individual lifestyles and unique circumstances.

Like a timeshare except with dogs. Is this a really great idea or a dog custody battle waiting to happen?

Don't Fill Your Car with Printer Ink (unless you have $100,000)

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I was listening to the latest episode of Betsy Flanagan’s wonderful podcast Startup Studio today. She was interviewing Hayden Hamilton, founder of GreenPrint which is a software solution meant to save money by making it easier to not print out pages that will go directly into the trash can. How important is that? Well the statement made by Hamilton was that if you filled up your car with Printer Ink instead of gasoline it would cost $100,000. While this is not news (and is backed up by stories like Gizmodo’s story that was the source for the above graph) it does put some perspective on my complaints about the high price of gas.

Paris Hilton Ordered Back to Jail

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A sobbing, shouting Paris Hilton was led from the courtroom Friday and ordered by a judge to return to jail to serve out the remainder of her 45-day sentence.

“It’s not right,” yelled Hilton, rising from her seat at the defendant’s table.

Among the headlines in tomorrow’s paper’s will be the news that Paris Hilton was sent back to jail by a judge after the firestorm that followed her early release. Add my voice to the legions of people who are glad at this turn of events. I am not glad because I dislike Paris Hilton. I don’t care who she is and the law should not care either.

Letting her out early because she does not like jail is absurd. You are not supposed to like jail. That’s kind of the point.

Stanford Student was an Impostor

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My daughter is a high school senior for a couple more weeks so she has recently been through the whole college application process. She and my wife made a trip last month to go look at the insightful institutions that had accepted her and while in the area they stopped by one of the schools that had put her on the waiting list. Unbeknownst to them they managed to time it so that they arrived on the day the school was welcoming newly accepted students. My understanding is their presence led to an awkward conversation with the people in the admissions office who must have been thinking: “what are you doing here?”.

But apparently not everyone is intimidated by not being invited to attend college according to this story in this mornings San Jose Mercury News:

An 18-year-old Fullerton woman spent the last eight months posing as a biology major, buying textbooks, sneaking into meals, even moving into a dorm with an unsuspecting roommate.

Because she never had a Stanford ID or a school-issued dorm key, she got in and out of her dorm by climbing through the first-floor window.

Her story started unraveling this month, and now the university – and her stunned circle of friends and dorm mates – are looking back on how a woman described as a sweet, bespectacled student could have pulled off such a ruse.

University officials ordered the woman off campus Monday but are saying little about their investigation of Azia Kim, identified in Thursday’s edition of the Stanford Daily newspaper.

“I thought she was a normal student,” said Michael Ngo, who lived in her 94-person residence hall. “She looked normal. She had glasses. I often saw her studying.”

Without a key to the residence halls, Kim routinely entered her dorm room by climbing through its first-floor window.

“She convinced her roommate that she needed to keep the window open,” Haber said, laughing. “Sometimes, her roommate would hop through the window, too, like when she’d forget her key.”

Stanford students say the pastoral, sun-kissed campus, with a low crime rate, engenders a feeling of trust and openness.

Kim made herself at home, blending in with other studious Asian-American youth, students said. Perhaps she took too literally the invitation on a flowery sign outside the door of her resident adviser’s room: “My house is your house.”

Her Stanford vacation could cost $44,000, based on the daily $175 fee charged by the university for unauthorized visitors. That’s the same price as an official education, but without the college credit.

Star Trek Apartment

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Tony Allen who turned his apartment in Leicester, England into a Star Trek spaceship is selling it on the internet after 10 years. It has no bedroom because he made that into a transporter.

Amateur Traveler no longer on Sirius Satellite

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I just got an hour of my week back as I won’t be doing a version of the show (exactly 24 minutes, not a second more or less) for Sirius Satellite radio any more. I was doing this version through PodShow that has stopped this relationship with Sirius. I suspect that they stopped it because they were not getting paid for it and now that they see the value of what they are providing they are looking for someone who will pay for this content.

TSA Says Giant Pickle Suit is a Security Issue

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P.Dilly of the Podcast Pickle has a giant pickle suit that he uses to promote the Podcast Pickle, his site about podcasts and podcasting. He says that coming back from New York City this week the TSA took his suit.

When we arrived hone in Dallas the Pickleman was not in our luggage. I checked with baggage, and they said TSA kept it in NY. That it was a security issue. That was all they knew in Dallas. They said TSA would be calling me soon.

How’s that again?