An old saying is “Two hands clap and there is a sound; what is the sound of one hand?”

Now at last that question can be answered.

I had the pleasure and privilege to be included as the second co-host in today’s episode of CNet’s Buzz Out Loud – Buzz Out Loud 877: Listener co-host show No. 1. I have long been a listener and sometimes a contributor of the show.

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Just for context, on the show I am known as Chris the Podcaster. There is a mention made on the show about how I will trick them into plugging the Amateur Traveler next time. I had contributed to the show a few times before mention was made of what podcast I actual made. A funny series of events lead to the first time they mentioned the Amateur Traveler on the show.

• I had met Tom, Jason and Molly at last years Podcast and New Media Expo. Specifically since Molly left a day earlier I had a chance to hang out with Tom and Jason and to introduce them to other podcasters. We also had lunch on the last day and I took them to the airport.
• Shortly thereafter I called into the show to make another contribution and completely biffed the call. You know how it is when you are trying to leave a voicemail sometimes. I called again and left a coherent message but I was quite sure they would mock me and play the first call which they did. I think after that they felt a little guilty so they mentioned what my show was.
• After they mentioned the show I sent this email:
  

  How sharper than a serpent’s tooth is to have a thankless technology podcaster triumvirate.

  I bet you think you are so smart. But as you sit there in your smug smugliness drinking your half-caf-mocha-latte-frapa-chino and thinking how you have powned me, know this.

  It was in fact I who did the powning.

  And now is the time to reveal my sinister plan.

  Clearly the Buzz Out Loud show has an enviably larger audience than the Amateur Traveler. So how to get the Amateur Traveler promoted on the air. Clearly this was against BOL policy so the plan must be intricate, ingenious, diabolical.

  1. Invent the character of “Chris the podcaster” and establish it with some familiar regular contributions to the show.
  2. Convince the CNET management to send the cast of Buzz Out Loud to the Podcast and New Media Episode. This was accomplished through a series of incriminating photos taken at last year’s company Christmas party. Eggnog? I think not.
  3. Send a brilliant piece of audio feedback the week of the show so that “Chris the podcaster” is fresh in everyone’s memory.
  4. Arrange for a speaker at the show to have an untimely accident so that Tom gets a speaking slot.
  5. Hand deliver fake schedules to almost all the conference attendants that mislabels Tom’s talk as “A Case for Cooperating with the RIAA… with root kits” so that most of the attendees are dissuaded from attending Tom’s talk.
  6. Offer “helpful” comments during the talk to establish a rapport.
  7. Casually use hypnosis so that Tom and Jason invite me to lunch and think it is their idea and that they are simply “hungry”.
  8. Cement the relationship with casual banter and a ride to the airport.
  9. Wait
  10. Submit a very badly done audio clip for the show that is too painfully funny not to use but will instill enough guilt that Tom will feel the need to plug the Amateur Traveler in return.

  Pownage

  I cannot believe you could fall for such a simple plot. And now the next time someone is craving the voice of a well spoken, erudite, prepared podcaster they will… oh wait! … oh no! Oh crap. Back to the drawing board.

  P.S. Thanks for the plug

I loved this video of comedian Louis C.K. on Conan O’Brian’s show. He talks about the technology that I grew up with (you had to dial the phone and you had to stand right next to it) and how much cooler the new technology is. But, as he points out, people seem less happy now than they were then. You are holding a phone that is talking to space but you are impatient with how long it takes to get a signal.

Are we becoming less patient? Sure this is comedy but it does seem like there is some truth to it.

The thought occurred to me that the NSA is intercepting cell phone conversations anyway, they could so make money in the process. This was based on an audio recording originally made for Buzz Out Loud.

The folks at www.howitshouldhaveended.com offer some advice in case you are attacked by space invaders. Brilliant!

If you are still wondering what to get me for National Boss Day, then I should mention that I still need a new digital camera.

Seriously, who was the kiss ass who suggested this day to their boss? Or was it just a practical joke gone seriously wrong.

“Did you suggest National Boss Day to the boss, ha ha ha. You did? What? He took you seriously? @$%^&&!!”

SciFi Tech had a great article about this new lighter than air craft.

Private jets? Please. New Money has earned the ability to buy something bigger and ostentatious-er. Ready for a flying palace? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

The Strato Cruiser Airship is a gigantic helium-filled blimp with a gourmet restaurant, spa, swimming pool, library and private offices. Add the Strato Cruiser’s resident DJ and it’s pretty much designed for a supervillain. I’m sure just kinda-evil rich people would enjoy, too.

Designs call for all manner of shiny, fun tech like carbon-fiber skin, sectional helium chambers and photovoltaic power cells. The Strato Cruiser’s but a concept, but you can still dream. Drool over those photos in the gallery below. — Adam Frucci

It makes you want to run right out, higher some henchmen (check out Local Henchman 432) and start working on your plan to conquer the world. If you do decide on this line of business then I would recommend reviewing the Evil Genius To Do List.

The scientist approached God and said, “Listen, we’ve decided we no longer need you. Nowadays, we can extract stem cells, clone people, transplant hearts, and all kinds of things that were once considered miraculous.”

God patiently heard him out, and then said, “All right. To see whether or not you still need me, why don’t we have a little man-making contest!”

“Okay, great!” the scientist said.

“Now, we’re going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam,” God said.

“That’s fine,” replied the scientist and he bent down to scoop up a handful of dirt.

“Whoa!” God said, shaking his head in disapproval. “Not so fast, pal. You get your own dirt.”

September 19th is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Have you done your home work? If not here are some resources to get you in the mood:

Pirate Jokes

example:

Have you heard about the new pirate movie?

It?s rated AARRRRGGH!

More Pirate Jokes

example:

Not-so-Jolly Roger

A soldier meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The soldier notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook and an eye patch.

“How did you end up with a peg leg?” he asks.

The pirate replies, “I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.”

“Wow!” says the soldier. “What about your hook?”

“Well,” answers the pirate, “we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand.”

“Incredible. How’d you get the eye patch?”

“A grapefruit squirted in my eye,” the pirate replies.

“You lost your eye to grapefruit juice?”

“Well,” says the pirate, “it was my first day with the new hook.”

Pirate Name Generator

example: you can now call me “Shark Tooth Booker”

I personally love stupid criminal tricks and these videos made me laugh out loud

The crook in this video has a great plan: Get his buddy to look out while he gets some big rocks and breaks a window. Unfortunately, the window doesn’t budge and both of the two guys end up out cold.

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